Apology - To whom it may concern

This is so hard to write i don't know if i should be funny or serious but here goes. I am so very sorry to you. I am very sorry for those instances when I have been rude to you. There have been so many misunderstandings between us. I apologize for the hurtful, harmful, dishonest and reckless things I've done in my life, to others and to myself, out of not knowing how to love and accept myself.  I apologize also to my self for the countless hours I've wasted stewing and being angry and bitter and refusing to forgive. I am truly sorry.

I apologize for losing my-self as I prefer and pay attention to other external happenings. I apologize for not responding to myself more. I apologize for not taking the care I know I am capable of. I apologize for cutting down my joy significantly so that I can fit in to this world. I apologize for not being able to believe that I am made solely of love. I am sorry that I close my heart when I get afraid. I am sorry that your invitations for closeness scare me and make me want to run away.  I am sorry if I disapointed or hurt you in the end. I apologize to anyone whom I have treated in a demeaning way. Please forgive me.

I'm sorry for all that stupid mistake that I made. And for those harsh words that I yelled. Those hurting arguments and tears that flowed on your cheeks. I'm sorry to hurt you at the time that I shouldn't do. I'm sorry to make you lost your temper to my foolishness. I'm sorry to call you "annoying" **I can't help it that time, you just are haha. (juss kiddin)No offence** I'm sorry to make you deal with my child-like personality. Yeah I was so childish. Yet you still be friend with me. Thank you for that and sorry for sometimes I didn't treat you like my best friend. Sorry for all the ignorance. I'm so proud to have a friend as smart as you. haha. ** ehh ehh don't blush now** Oh yea... Thanks for talking to me in the middle of night when I have problems. i'm sorry to make you sleep so late. :P

I don't know how to describe this feeling but when it comes to my friends *including you*.. I feel so hard to be separated from you... not just you.. all my friends too. ? I know I've done so many wrongdoings on you. Forgive me. :'( Thanks for being my friend again. Truly.. I can't take control of everything. People come and go, but memories stay. And I'm afraid that will haunted me for all my life. I'm afraid if I can't let my friend go on their own way. Including you. From the guy that always pissed you off.