I don't actually pretend in the normal sense.
I push all the feelings away; those like anger, despair, confusion...
I push them all away, deep deep down into the unreachable depths of my soul, so that I don't actually have to pretend I'm okay.
I convince myself that I'm okay, in the hopes that that will better convince others of the same.
Isn't it better to think you're okay than to know you're not and stress over it every second of the day?
Maybe...
Of course there are those moments when it all comes rushing at me, when I know I'm not okay, when I am reminded of just how abnormal I am.
I couldn't stand having my entire life run by those moments.
I couldn't stand worrying those around me, to put them under the stress that I'm being put under.
So yes, it is better to pretend that I'm okay. For my sake, and for theirs.
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