Happy 25th anniversary mom and dad

There are milestones in life that get celebrated every year without much fanfare, including birthdays and anniversaries. But some are way more special than just another day on the calendar. Your 16th birthday, your 18th birthday, your 21st birthday, and wedding anniversaries on the fives are all cause for celebration. They’re big milestones for most people.

But none may be more important in this day and age than the 25th wedding anniversary, in my opinion, and that’s why today, 1st March 2012, is special to me. Twenty-five years ago my mom (Sharmila Verma) and dad (Pradip Verma) were married.


While I do not have that much relationship experience (in fact, depending on who you ask, I’ve never had a true girlfriend) I know that I have the two best role models in how to make things work. I’ve been lucky enough to also see my grandparents make it 50-plus years. I have the best role models anyone could ask for.

And while our lives are very busy and we rarely have time to sit down and talk about life like we used to, my mom and dad still play a vital role in my life. Without them, I’m not sure I’d be where I am today. Don’t get me wrong, they’re humble and would tell you that my Sister's and I work our tails off to get to where we are in our lives, but the truth is, without them, we’d be somewhere else.

I love Taylor Swift’s music, and I’d consider myself to be one of those sappy romantics, who believes in the fairy tale ending. One day, if I’m as lucky as the two people I celebrate here, I’ll be able to look back on 25 years of being married in the same way my parents have tonight.

Congrats mom and dad. You two are a shining light, two of the best role models anyone could ask for, and you deserve more than just this little blog post.

(However, if I may interject in my defense, I am a college student—just trying to get by, and busy as heck with Studies and Radio, so you’ll have to deal without a big lavish present at the moment!)

Here’s to the past 25 years (even the 20 when I’ve been here) and many happy more.

Love, your Youngest son,
Anup

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara - A Patriotic Song That Reunites The Nation

You always have a childhood song that you cherish the most, it strikes a chord with your memory lane. I am pleased to know that my favorite patriotic song “ Phir Mile Sur” is filmed all over again in a new set up. It’s a wonderful song and after almost 20 years you don’t get bored of listening to it again and again.


I have just seen the new video of “Phir Mile Sur ” with different stars but without a second thought the old vedio of “Mile Sur Tera Humara ” will always remain my favorite. Last night I saw the old version after years and years but I could sing the song remembering the exact tune and lyrics of Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

The one factor that was commendable in the old version was the way they had merged the diverse culture of India in one song. It’s an incredible feeling for some of the budding celebrities to be part of it like Shahid kapoor, Dipika padukone and Ranbir Kapoor .

I hope this iconic song will again inspire the new generation for many more years to come. Some songs are master piece and no matter how much you try to recreate the song you can never bring the same feel to it. And this is a live example of it! Anyway, I appreciate that the creators put an effort to promote this legendary song with the same passion and veracity.


Lyrics Of Mile Sur Mera Tumahara

Mile sur mera tumharaa, Thoo sur bane hamaraa…. sur kee nadiyaan har disha se behke saagar mein mile. Baadalon ka roop lekar barse halke halke… Mile sur mera tumharaa.. thoo… sur bane hamaara.. Mile sur mera tumhara…

Chaain taraj tahin nyay taraj ek but baniye saayen taraj

Tera sur mile mere sur de naal milke bane ek nava surtaal

Mile sur mera tumharaa….tho sur bane hamaara..

Mohnja sur tohi desa pyara mile jadein geet ashaanjo madhur tarano bane tadein

Sur ka dariya bahte saagar me mile

badlaan da roop leike barasan holle haule

Isaindhal namm iruvarin suramum namadhakum.. Dhisai veru aanalum aazi ser aarugal Mugilai mazaiyai pozivadu pol isai …Namm isssaiiii…. Thik thakida thathikakidA….thaka thimi thaka junu

Nanna dhwanige ninna dhwani-ya, seridante namma dhwaniya..

Naa swaramu nee swaramu sangammamai, mana swaram ga avatarinchey

Ente swaravum ningalude swaravum otthuchernnhu Namudeya swaramai….

Tomaar shur moder shur srishti koruk oikko shur[2]… Sriishti karoon oikota

Toma mora swarer milan srishti kare chalbochatano

male sur jo taro maro, bane aapno sur niralo

majhya tumchya julta tara madhur suranchya barasti dhara

Sur ki nadiya har disha se behke saagar mein mile… Baadlo ka roop leke barse halke halke.. Oh…Mile sur mera tumhara tho….sur bane hamara…

Mile Sur mera tumhara tho sur bane hamara tho sur bane hamara tho sur bane hamara


Doordarshan's Original "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara"


Ek sur" (One Tune) (languages of India), or "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" as it is better known, is an Indian video focusing on national integration and unity.

It was created in 1988 by Lok Seva Sanchar Parishad, and promoted by Doordarshan (then India's sole TV broadcaster) and India's Ministry of Information. The song was composed by Ashok Patki, written by Piyush Pandey (then a Accounts Manager and presently the Executive Chairman and Creative Head of Ogilvy and Mather, India). The conception of the project was by Suresh Mullick and recorded by a group of people from all walks of life, including a supergroup of popular Indians - musicians, sports persons, movie stars, etc.

The national integration video was intended to instill a sense of pride and promote unity amongst Indians, highlighting the different linguistic communities and societies that live in India -- India's unity in diversity, so to speak.

Mile Sur was telecast for the first time on Independence Day 1988, after the telecast of the Prime Ministers speech from the ramparts of the Red Fort. [1]

It quickly captivated millions in India, gaining and maintaining near-anthem status ever since.

I think im falling in love

I dont know what to say or what to do
Im falling faster each day over you
If i pretended and acted like i didnt care
Could it be possible that you wouldnt be there

I dont wanna lose you i love you too much
But these feelings get stronger whenever we touch
Im all confused about the way i feel
Maybe these feelings arent that real

Perhaps its a dream and all in my head
the person you are makes me want you instead
Theres only one thing i know thats really true

I Am Afraid of Death... Maybe Not Exactly Of Death

I'm not afraid of death as a thing by itself. if i die-okay. if i go to heaven-great.if i go to hell-not so good XD if those both things & "life after death" don't exist-at least i won't have to worry about it. but i'm afraid that i won't make my dreams come true, i won't have enough time to set my life as i want it to be... i'm scared that the death will come before i can meet some people and feel free to be 100% honest with them, not looking at the consequences, before i find... a TRUE love...

This time I won't disappear totally

I've been hiding as long as I can remember. About 3 years ago I begun to build a wall around me little by little. Every hurtful word added a new brick on my wall. I tried to make my wall as unattractive as possible so people would just leave me alone and stop hurting me. And finally I succeeded, I hid so well that nobody, me included, was able to find me...

Then came along this young girl, who saw some signs of life behind the wall, thought they were kinda cute, and didn't give up until she was able to see me, all of me. It was amazing to watch how those bricks just crumbled down around me. I was so scared, so vulnerable. Sun burned my eyes that were so accustomed to the darkness. That felt like a rebirth, the beginning of the rest of my life.

Then the girl went away, without a warning. I felt so lost, almost like drowning on dry land. I went back to the place where my wall used to be. I took a brick in my hand, looked at it and thought about my alternatives. I almost begun to rebuild it, but something stopped me. So I decided not to rebuild my wall. I'm still hiding inside myself, but I feel myself strong enough to stand tall without my wall. This time I won't disappear totally.

It's Not Funny to Me

I sometimes take things seriously, even "jokes." It has to do with insecurity. When I'm feeling insecure, a joke that (without the joking tone) could be considered cruel loses the joking part of it. I just see the cruel. I wonder why someone would say something like that to me. Especially someone who is supposed to love me. It's not like I'm not used to this type of joking. I grew up with it. I never liked it, and I still don't. It's painful for me and causes me to just shut down and pull away.

I also believe that from the heart's abundance the mouth speaks. If someone jokingly blames me for things unfairly, I feel that they really do believe it's my fault. Some jokes are just cruel. And some things shouldn't be said even as jokes

A Thank You Note to My Friends

As you know, My blog is all about gratitude and appreciation. So, today I want my friends to know how grateful I am to have them in my life and how much they mean to me:

Thank you for being there for me through some of the most difficult times in my life.

Thank you for being genuinely happy for my success and good fortune, as if it were your own.

Thank you for forgiving my faults, and immature lapses in judgment, and for tolerating my idiosyncrasies.

Thank you for the phone calls, notes, e-mails, DMs, and IMs of support when I was overwhelmed with life.

Thank you for being my friend always, not just when it was convenient.

Thanks for letting me vent, and trusting me enough to tell me what’s bothering you.

Thank you for making time for me, even on your busiest days.

Thank you for not letting time or distance affect our friendship.

Thank you for being honest with me when I really needed you to be.

Thank you for asking how I’m doing, and actually wanting to hear the answer.

Thank you for hugs, smiles, inside jokes, and memories.

Thanks for understanding that I could never write a long enough blog post to express how much you all mean to me.

I’ve had enough

I’ve had enough of caring about what other people think. I’ve had enough of feeling that I am ugly, that no girl would like me. So what that one or two people have said I’m ‘repulsive’ or something along those lines? I don’t actually agree any more. I used to feel the same when I looked in the mirror, just because of what they thought, but I refuse to accept that any more.

I am not ugly. I may not be the most handsome man in the world, but I don’t think I’m that bad. Besides, I have other things that I think are much more important. I know that I would make a great boyfriend to a girl; I’m loyal, loving, (fairly) funny and (fairly) intelligent. If they can’t see that, it’s their loss, not mine.

This isn’t indicative of a major shift in position though; it is not a declaration of confidence by any means. I’m just saying that it’s not as bad as I once thought.

I don’t know how long I will stay with this view though…

i don't know why, but i miss her

It finally hit me this morning. It was because I talked to her on Phone for the first time since we split up. I decided to let her to all the talking, but after saying “Hi, how are you?” “Fine” to each other, I finally realised I missed her, but it wasn’t until this morning it fully sunk in.

So, of course, that got me thinking about how much I enjoyed the day we finally met, how well it seemed to go. I started to think how we hugged each other, how we kissed each other, how happy we seemed together. I started to wonder how something that seemed so perfect could be thrown anyway for reasons I can’t fathom. I started to cry. Not too much though, because I am not alone at home today. But I still feel like crying now, though I can hold it in. I miss her.I don’t even know what she thinks of me, and I wished I did.

I am so alone…

Waste

I’ve just been reading an article about teenage popstars and I think, ‘man, I’ve really wasted my life so far’. I think I am going to have to change. For a start, I want to either start writing a novel, or publishing some of my poetry. There is a great site, Lulu.com, where you can self-publish, and I’ll use that to do so.
Then I want to find some sort of social activity to take up, I have no idea what though, that can get me out of the house and meeting new people, perhaps even of the female variety. I just hope I can pluck up the courage to see this idea through. Wish me luck!
I think I should also do something to get fitter – I hate looking at all the other guys my age at the pool with euther flat stomachs or even muscles too, compared to my round stomach that folds when sitting (so I keep my top on or cover my stomach with a towel). Although, knowing myself as I do, I doubt I will be bothered to do anything about it once I get back. Especially now there is no girlfriend or one on the horizon.

What Is It About Me?

I have literally no idea why "........" is the only girl that has ever liked me. Especially when I look at some of the guys some girls are with (not necessarily people that I know, just in general). I’m not exactly an oil painting but I don’t think I’m particularly ugly either. I am very friendly. Okay, I’m shy, I may not make friends easily, but once you get to know me I open up. I suppose I just haven’t met enough girls, been friends with enough girls, to the possibility of having a girlfriend to achieve a statistically strong probability. If you see what I mean. I’m pretty sure I can count the number of proper female friends on two hands, possibly even one. Sure, I kind-of know more girls than that, but they’re not exactly friends of mine either. I suppose I need to get out there really. Somehow…

Love Songs Are Depressing

I currently hate love songs. I mean, I’ve always disliked love songs, being chronically alone and etcetera, but currently I hate them, for obvious reasons (for regular readers anyway). When you’ve just realised the only girl who’s ever been interested in you is really only your friend now, and it will always be so, you do get pissed off when somebody sings a song that’s positive, saying how much they, or the third party subject of their song is having a great romance with some very nice woman.

I say this because when me and my family was having dinner the other day a James Blunt song came on and it made me feel very depressed, instantly. For some reason it also made me laugh though, which I’m not sure how to explain. Maybe it was a sort of tired, depressed kind of laughter, a sort of dark laughter, the sort crazy people in films have. The sort of laughter that somehow says, without appearing to; oh god, I’m so alone, it’s so depressing.

Blah Blah...

Breathe in, breathe out. Put a smile on, give a little laugh when necessary. Smile, and that says your fine. Why pretend, because no one wants to hear the truth. When you go to a restaurant, or a coffee place, and they ask how are you. Your answer is almost always fine, thanks. But is this true. Not for me. I just pretend. In fact I pretend so much, sometimes I convince myself I'm fine, when deep down I know that I am most certainly not fine. Not even close to fine. I'm a mess, of emotions I don't want to feel. So, I try to hide from them, from myself. I can't do this anymore. I am not fine, but at the same time, its not like I can talk to anyone, I don't have anyone to talk to. All my friends, try to sugarcoat their answers, to put positive spins on things, to protect me... but from what. From the truth. From the truth I myself only know, that I am not fine. Apparently they don't hear me, or they choose not to.
Just goes to prove, no one really wants to know the truth of if you are fine or not. They just want to hear yea, fine, thanks.. and move on with their lives...

I Think This Will Work

I have to say that I actually kept my 2012 resolutions. I set forth realistic goals so I did not set myself up for failure and had a solid plan and strategy for keeping every one of them. I only made a few and they were biggies. I feel so good about my success.

This year, I am back on par with the previous decades of making New Year's resolutions. I'm overwhelmed with life right now and I have no plan and no strategy for accomplishing any of the things I know I should resolve to do. Any resolution I make will more than likely fail.

I do have an idea, however, one that I really think will work. If all goes as planned, 2012 will be an amazing year.

My resolution: Be happier. Learn to be happier. And don't worry so much.

If I can just figure that much out with my life, I'll be on the road to a better start. Forget losing weight and finding a girlfriend, which have been my consistent resolutions for the last...3 or 4 years. Just be happy. That's all I resolve to do.

Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to. I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them.

I realize, after an illness, people ask how you are as a social form of a greeting. It's not that they really want to know. And those who do want to know do not want to hear that you aren't doing well. Those who care enough to listen generally only care for so many months. They want to see some progress and improvement - they don't want to hear that you are still ill, have another surgery scheduled, etc. after about month 4.

The socially acceptable response to the automated greeting, "How are you?" is, "I'm okay (or good or anything positive.) How bout you?" Or so it is in my region. I suspect it's not much different anywhere else in the world.

Why are we socially automated? It's very difficult coming from my stand point. "Don't ask me if you don't want to know!" That's the response I adopted after a year or so of illness with no progress. However, since then, in order to maintain any amount of social activity I've had to learn to lie. I used to do it at work all the time - telling people I was fine or even great when it was the worst day ever. Why then should it be so difficult now? I suspect it has much to do with the illness.

I lie about how I am on every level; physical, emotional, just the day itself. I'm transparent and always have been, so it doesn't work well. When I'm caught in my lies I blame it on a new medication that makes me appear tired etc. I have a whole slew of excuses. But it's rare that I ever tell anyone how I truly feel anymore ... Sadly, and to my detriment, I've even begun hiding it from the doctors ...

It's An Act, Even The Pain You See Is Nothing...

I act like I'm okay, I tell people I'm okay, and even when people can tell I'm unhappy, I don't show them almost anything. Hatred, rage, and self-loathing are eating me alive.
I feel so incredibly horrible most of the time. Something inside me never lets me be truly happy. I can be temporarily content, but not truly happy. Whenever I almost become happy, my mind tells me something. It tells me things like: You're worthless, you know you have to die, you'll never be anyone or amount to anything, you're hideous, or you know you can't and never will be happy. I hide many many thoughts and feelings from everyone. I know that keeping it in is bad, but if people knew some of this..... They'd either think I'm a monster or think I need to be back in the loony bin...

Broken Inside

We all pretend to be okay...wether its at the beside of a dying loved one or in the middle of a test with 20 million problems on your mind and wishing you could just let go and burst into tears.

i've been through both of these and the 1st one we do because of compassion..we don't want our loved one to go through any more emotional pain by seeing the people they love crying....

but the second one is the one when we feel the most fake...we feel alone...guilty...and unfair....why is it that we dont share how we feel with people who are willing to listen???????

because we care too much what they will think....its just a petty problem??...its a silly reason to cry???...it's all just for attention???.........all of these things are what we feel is going through the persons head if we say how we feel.

sometimes it's just too painful to say out loud and we prefer to live in denial and keep the pain locked inside in the hope that it will go away.

All these we do are normal but there will be a point in your life when you no longer have control...or you finally burst out....or you realise the pain you are putting the people who care abput you through because they are worried.

just make sure you don't make the mistake that many people including myself have made by leaving it until the last minute when people have stopped caring and whne your finally ready to share they don't want to listen.

Again Today

I pretended again today.
I smiled the same smile, laughed the same laugh...
Like an alien from another planet, I impersonated the human form perfectly.
No suspect, no question, no wondering..

I gave off the vibe of happiness and content..
I asked the right questions and gave the right answers.
Noone could see, noone heard
I hid in broad daylight

Only when I was alone, only when I was sure noone would know..
Did I let myself be free, pretending no more, and allowing the tears to flow..

I pretended again today...

The "mask" We Wear

At times all of us use a so called "mask" to hide our true emotions putting on a smile when you see the girl/guy you like in the hands of another making you sad inside but cant help but feel sad on the inside. Well I can say that I am hiding my true emotions under this "mask" called a smile. Hiding all the pain and saddness knowing that I'm not okay with what I'm seeing that I want to become happy but I cant. That what people around me like my father say things like that I can never get a girlfriend and that I'm lying about having a trauma of rejection from the very girls I liked saying that Im batting for the other team and try to laugh it of knowing that he understands nothing of what I went through because of how I am and hate myself sometimes for it because I try to change but its just to hard. I've always pretended to be alright giving off that smile and laughter during the the day while turning to tears and saddness at night when nobody can see you. I pretend nothings wrong when I see a couple being lovey dovey seeing them happy and thinking that I will never be that way because of how I am. So yeah I do pretend to be okay but its all just a "mask" meant to hide what Im truely feeling inside.

All Alone And So Not Ok I Fake A Smile (i wrote this when i was in 8th standard)

I get bullied and teased at school all the time.I fake a smile everyday.I tried telling one of my friends but she didn't listen.She didn't care.She just said 'well,no one beats you up so you're ok'.But let me tell you,for me the insider,emotional,mental pain is way worse than physical.Of course physical pain can cause emotional pain,but I'm way more emotional,easier to upset,more shy and quieter than all my other friends so it's harder for me to deal with just one type of pain.When the things at school get worse I start getting all sorts of weird thoughts and suicidal feelings. My family don't listen either.They just say 'stand up for yourself'.The thing is I can't.It's just too hard.So I pretend that I'm ok. I guess I'm all alone.